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Wooden Insults By Dog Might Games


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About this project

Imagine the joy in opening a personalized Wooden Insult that's been shipped directly to your door from Dog Might Games. The custom Insult engraving, "Sawdust Surprise" packaging, and mass-produced cheap envelope all scream attention to detail and provide the memory of a lifetime. Tears of joy will fall as you vacuum the sawdust off of the floor and apply ointment to the super burn you just received.

Now is your opportunity to give this experience to your friends, family, or most hated rival.

Our shop of fine craftsman will create a beautiful, personalized keepsake for the recipient of your choice. You can choose an existing insult from our designer curated Vault of Insults or supply your own insult for a more personal touch. Every Wooden Insult comes with your choice of font and decorative border ensuring that your affront will be presented according to your derision aesthetic.

Cherry with Boring Font and Fancy border. Cherry with Boring Font and Fancy border.

Insult Guarantee

You can be sure that your Wooden Insult will have a negative aura from our intensive screening and degradation process. All lumber is hand selected by one of our Lumberjacks angrily working the required overtime to bring this project to life. Each and every Wooden Insult is guaranteed to be fully downtrodden and verbally skewered throughout every step of the process. No piece of wood will leave our shop with even a shred of self worth.

Mike insulting a beautiful piece of Bubinga. Mike insulting a beautiful piece of Bubinga.


Each Wooden Insult measures approximately 6" x 4" x 3/8". Each piece is laser engraved to your specs, barely sanded, and hastily dipped in some varnish. It will then be packed in a cheap envelope, filled with sawdust, and sent to the recipient of your choice from Dog Might Games.  All Wooden Insults will be anonymous.  If you want the recipient to know who sent it, engrave it on the Insult permanently and proudly.

Cherry with Boring Font and Turd border. Cherry with Boring Font and Turd border.


Mike insulting raw lumber. Mike insulting raw lumber.

Award Winning Packaging  

All wooden insults are packed in an envelope with our award winning "Sawdust Surprise" gift wrapping and shipped to an address of your choice in the US. (International shipping can be added as an add-on).

Hand collecting "Sawdust Surprise" packaging. Hand collecting "Sawdust Surprise" packaging.


White Ash with Stencil Font and Bird border. White Ash with Stencil Font and Bird border.


Dylan readying "Sawdust Suprise" packaging with appropriate profanity laden insults. Dylan readying "Sawdust Suprise" packaging with appropriate profanity laden insults.


Insult Vault

Can't decide on the right insult? Choose one from our designer curated Insult Vault below.



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.. I mentioned this to Mr. Thorne.

Mr. Thorne eventually comes back with, 'Shame that April 1st isn't a weekday; I'd circulate this in the office, see who'd be willing to chip in to send the Dog Might people to *terrible manager*'s doorstep'.


. .. I don't know if anyone /deserves/ having a random crew of guys show up on their doorstep with a Wooden Insult and a lot of verbal insults, but I've heard stories. o.O

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