FAKE Star Wars spoilers

[Crowley]

Okay, like the title says... Have at it! Your own or ones you've found.

 

 

[Glitterwolf]

I found the disclosure of Yoda's origins disturbing.

Never suspected this.

 

Great acting from Kate Upton though.

Who would have thought?

 

A stormtrooper that actually hit someone?

Wow!

[kristof65]

2 minutes ago, Glitterwolf said:

I found the disclosure of Yoda's origins disturbing.

For some reason, I first read this as "I found the desecration of Yoda's organs disturbing"

[Unruly]

That furry thing from the trailers? That was Han and Chewie's kid. Or, well, one of them at least. Apparently Chewbacca is actually female, and the whole thing about Han and Leia splitting up is because she found out about how Han and Chewie had been lovers for the entire time she'd known them.

 

Made the movie all kinds of awkward when there was a 30 minute segment of Chewie explaining to the fuzzy things that Han wasn't coming back. But, it did make for some good logic behind why Kylo Ren hated Han so much. I mean, when your dad was cheating on your mom for their whole relationship with a wookie, it's understandable for you to have some serious emo rage.

[Guest]

Boba Fett Clone #1,492 dies. Eaten by a Snorelax. He should not have chopped down that tree.

 

The tribute to Carrie Fisher was... overdone and clearly tacked on. CGI David Bowie coming down out of the remains of the exploded star, while fitting and really well done, just... erg. I needed some wine and bread to go with all the cheese.

 

Poe and Phasma? Did not see that one coming, but wow did she wear the Leia bikini well.

[Crowley]

1 minute ago, Aryanun said:

Poe and Phasma? Did not see that one coming, but wow did she wear the Leia bikini well.

I thought Poe wore it better.

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Crowley said:

I thought Poe wore it better.

Maybe? I'm just far more attracted to Gwendoline Christie. She makes everything she's in worth watching.

 

But you do you.

[Unruly]

4 minutes ago, Crowley said:

I thought Poe wore it better.

 

I just found it oddly self-referential for them to be doing Star Wars cosplaying bedroom roleplay. It was interesting to see them both take on the slave Leia role, but I really don't know why they also both had to portray Jabba. I don't know why they had to portray Jabba at all, actually.

 

And I really didn't want Star Wars to turn into some 50 Shades type thing...

[kristof65]

Ary's right - Phasma wore it better, but the whole song and dance routine on Jabba's corpse was a bit too much for me to enjoy it. 

 

[kristof65]

5 minutes ago, Unruly said:

And I really didn't want Star Wars to turn into some 50 Shades type thing...

Hasn't it been that way since the whole Anakin and Padme romance? 

[Cranky Dog]

Rey's parents are Chewbacca!

[kristof65]

I loved the scene where Kylo Ren had the Star Wars Holiday special playing on his monitor when Phasma came to his room. 

[Crowley]

4 minutes ago, Cranky Dog said:

Rey's parents are Chewbacca!

Both of them. That was a weird flashback...

[Guest]

Just now, Crowley said:

Both of them. That was a weird flashback...

I was really confused at first. I mean, first they showed Han and Chewy, then I know I saw Luke's robot hand in that scene. It had to be Luke's, right? 

[Unruly]

23 minutes ago, Crowley said:

Both of them. That was a weird flashback...

 

I thought it was weird when grandpa wookie used the porn machine in the Holiday Special. But then they made it so much weirder by having Chewie use it to do that to himself...