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Froggy the Great

Randomness XVI: Brains versus Bleach - an Epic Rap Battle in Iambic Pentameter.

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A core bit of wisdom that Dave did not have - if 20% of your members want an adult only event - and 30% of your audience has children, then becoming an adults only venue does not suddenly mean you are making more money....

 

I WAS RIGHT, I WAS WRONG

  When first I saw Portland I questioned my eyes
  I was awed by the lights and a-mazed at the size,
  Then a feeling of dread dropped out of the blue,
  As it often does when I see something new;
  I was quite overcome with sus-picion and fear,
  So I stopped at a pub and I asked for a beer,
  I must have been mad to go in there alone,
  I was up to no good and I should have gone home.
  
  Chorus:
  I was right, I was wrong all a-long,
  I was right, I was wrong all a-long;
  I was wrong all a-long, and I knew I was wrong,
  I was right, I was wrong all a-long.

The back room was full of cigar smoking gents,
And against my best judgment it's back there I went;
They offered me whiskey which I never touch,
And I frequently told them "Don't pour me too much."
It was not what I wanted and not what I planned,
But the next thing you know, there were cards in my hand;
And like many a time, though I've often resolved
To never play cards when there's money involved...

Well, first I lost silver and then I lost gold,
And then I lost consciousness so I was told;
And when I awoke things had gone quite amiss,
I always had known it would end up like this;
There was blood and a body and bottles galore,
Lying right next to me there on the floor;
I said, "Constable, please, I'm an innocent man!"
As he pulled the revolver from out of me hand...

The judge banged his gavel and asked, "What's your plea?"
I said, "Someone killed him but surely not me."
There was no way in hell, I was out like a light,
Though I talk in my sleep, I doubt I could fight;
The jurors left the court room at the drop of a hat,
They returned with their verdict in ten minutes flat;
I was sentenced to hang by this jury of peers,
And so I've been dead for a good hundred years...

Will virtue bear fruit? You can never be sure,
Even if watered and plied with manure;
You've no hope to harvest the things that you plant,
But keep right on trying, and prove that you can't;
It's a minimal effort you need to exert,
Knowing that soon you'll be covered in dirt;
Be certain of failure and lose every fight,
And some day like me you'll be proud you was right...

-Dave Dodson

 

The Auld Grump

 

 

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How plausible is this NPC that I have? Modified a little bit from official rules, but... I think fun.

 

~50 year old weaver. She's in the slums, but well regarded there. She's kind, and people like to visit her. She has no idea that she's a 10th level favored soul (spontaneous casting divine magic user). She's blessed by fate, despite her situation in the slums. Instead of getting wings later on, I'm giving her a spider as a familiar - she's a weaver, after all. They don't usually get familiars, but I think she needs one. Just a strangely long lived bug that she talks to, and who sometimes talks back. They're friends.

 

The catch is that she has no idea that she's healing people. She just thinks she gets messages from the gods due to prayer, and she's just a comforting person. Her spell selections are all divination spells that can determine if an action will be good or bad, or if someone is well or not, and healing or protection spells that veer away from cures but into being well rested, or curing diseases and afflictions - things that aren't gaping wounds. Scars mend when she touches a person.

 

Her favored soul energy resistance (fire and cold)? Pssh. That's just her being tough, and resilient against bad weather. Hard to make her too hot or too cold.

 

Goal is to give the party someone to meet who is kinda creepy but 100% benevolent and will help them as she thinks she can. Won't unload heals on them because she doesn't know how (at least not on purpose), but she'll give them lots of encouragement and some of their debuffs will mysteriously fade.

 

 

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3 minutes ago, Cyradis said:

How plausible is this NPC that I have? Modified a little bit from official rules, but... I think fun.

 

~50 year old weaver. She's in the slums, but well regarded there. She's kind, and people like to visit her. She has no idea that she's a 10th level favored soul (spontaneous casting divine magic user). She's blessed by fate, despite her situation in the slums. Instead of getting wings later on, I'm giving her a spider as a familiar - she's a weaver, after all. They don't usually get familiars, but I think she needs one. Just a strangely long lived bug that she talks to, and who sometimes talks back. They're friends.

 

The catch is that she has no idea that she's healing people. She just thinks she gets messages from the gods due to prayer, and she's just a comforting person. Her spell selections are all divination spells that can determine if an action will be good or bad, or if someone is well or not, and healing or protection spells that veer away from cures but into being well rested, or curing diseases and afflictions - things that aren't gaping wounds. Scars mend when she touches a person.

 

Her favored soul energy resistance (fire and cold)? Pssh. That's just her being tough, and resilient against bad weather. Hard to make her too hot or too cold.

 

Goal is to give the party someone to meet who is kinda creepy but 100% benevolent and will help them as she thinks she can. Won't unload heals on them because she doesn't know how (at least not on purpose), but she'll give them lots of encouragement and some of their debuffs will mysteriously fade.

 

 

 

Makes sense to me. I'd use her as an NPC no problem.

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15 minutes ago, Cyradis said:

How plausible is this NPC that I have? Modified a little bit from official rules, but... I think fun.

 

~50 year old weaver. She's in the slums, but well regarded there. She's kind, and people like to visit her. She has no idea that she's a 10th level favored soul (spontaneous casting divine magic user). She's blessed by fate, despite her situation in the slums. Instead of getting wings later on, I'm giving her a spider as a familiar - she's a weaver, after all. They don't usually get familiars, but I think she needs one. Just a strangely long lived bug that she talks to, and who sometimes talks back. They're friends.

 

The catch is that she has no idea that she's healing people. She just thinks she gets messages from the gods due to prayer, and she's just a comforting person. Her spell selections are all divination spells that can determine if an action will be good or bad, or if someone is well or not, and healing or protection spells that veer away from cures but into being well rested, or curing diseases and afflictions - things that aren't gaping wounds. Scars mend when she touches a person.

 

Her favored soul energy resistance (fire and cold)? Pssh. That's just her being tough, and resilient against bad weather. Hard to make her too hot or too cold.

 

Goal is to give the party someone to meet who is kinda creepy but 100% benevolent and will help them as she thinks she can. Won't unload heals on them because she doesn't know how (at least not on purpose), but she'll give them lots of encouragement and some of their debuffs will mysteriously fade.

 

 

I like it, a lot.

Going to be tough to play at first but should get easier as the personality develops.

GEM

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Once the group figures out that she's healing them, and might be useful to talk to, it should ease up.

 

However, I think I'll ask them to make will saves and sense motive checks at first when she tries to touch their hand at the table, over a mug of thin tea. Heals can have will saves - and the group won't know what she's doing, because she's new, and she doesn't know what she's doing. But if they realize she's benign, then they might also be allowed to determine that she doesn't know she's a healer.

 

If they're smart they'll ask her to do "that spell" again. Then she can be confused. "What spell? Dear, that's just the tea. It makes everyone feel better".

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17 minutes ago, Cyradis said:

Once the group figures out that she's healing them, and might be useful to talk to, it should ease up.

 

However, I think I'll ask them to make will saves and sense motive checks at first when she tries to touch their hand at the table, over a mug of thin tea. Heals can have will saves - and the group won't know what she's doing, because she's new, and she doesn't know what she's doing. But if they realize she's benign, then they might also be allowed to determine that she doesn't know she's a healer.

 

If they're smart they'll ask her to do "that spell" again. Then she can be confused. "What spell? Dear, that's just the tea. It makes everyone feel better".

 

Not sure which rules you're using, but at least in D&D 3.x and Pathfinder, any spell with the descriptor "harmless" will be known to be so by the recipient. Whoever it hits can try to resist, but will have that knowledge before making the decision. And there might be a chance to identify the spell as it's being cast too (again depending on game rules).

 

Which is not to say that you can't run her any way you want to, just that you might want to have a story ready if your players ask.

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@OneBoot This is your sort of thing.

 

 

Spoiler

EhkQr3c.jpg

This is Gracie.

gQjJHKM.jpg

This is George.  They came home from an adoption event where we were supposed to be leaving kittens, not taking them.  But we figure we should be able to adopt them out pretty quick when they're big enough.

 

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40 minutes ago, Cyradis said:

Once the group figures out that she's healing them, and might be useful to talk to, it should ease up.

 

However, I think I'll ask them to make will saves and sense motive checks at first when she tries to touch their hand at the table, over a mug of thin tea. Heals can have will saves - and the group won't know what she's doing, because she's new, and she doesn't know what she's doing. But if they realize she's benign, then they might also be allowed to determine that she doesn't know she's a healer.

 

If they're smart they'll ask her to do "that spell" again. Then she can be confused. "What spell? Dear, that's just the tea. It makes everyone feel better".

Any way you can have some "rumors" prepared to "circulate" about her?

The sort of information that your players would be likely to stumble across?

GEM

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1 hour ago, Cyradis said:

Once the group figures out that she's healing them, and might be useful to talk to, it should ease up.

 

However, I think I'll ask them to make will saves and sense motive checks at first when she tries to touch their hand at the table, over a mug of thin tea. Heals can have will saves - and the group won't know what she's doing, because she's new, and she doesn't know what she's doing. But if they realize she's benign, then they might also be allowed to determine that she doesn't know she's a healer.

 

If they're smart they'll ask her to do "that spell" again. Then she can be confused. "What spell? Dear, that's just the tea. It makes everyone feel better".

 

You may want to be careful about that bolded one there.

 

There's only so many times a caster can cast a spell before realizing they are in fact doing Something. Or are at the center of Something. Or are just lucky. Consider how easily people get superstitious about, say, linking a pair of lucky shorts to a streak of gambling wins. 

 

A caster who's managed to hit 10th level without figuring out they're doing Something comes off as Dull As A Brick at best and Overly Smug GM at worst.

 

An un-asked for suggestion: this is an NPC, nobody has to know if you're exactly following the rules so long as you don't flaunt it and you don't screw over either side of the table. As such, you might want to tweak the class a little bit more, turn it from a standard casting class into something more based off of rituals. Some rituals can be long and drawn out and whole big danged deals with a Spellcraft DC of 47 for no good reason. Other rituals can be "requires tea, conversation, and specific scones to heal 1d4 negative levels". In the case of a ritual like that your NPC might have learned over time which questions to ask to make the negative levels come off easiest ('what happened' is the third question, never the first otherwise it won't work), which tablecloth is required for which surface (plaid over dungeon floor, always plaid), which doilies need to have their patterns pointed True North (especially the round patterns with no points, those need to point True North and no one knows how she does it), and which teas go with which scones for curing what diseases (nobody really likes the combination of milky weak tea and lemon scones but it sure does help the Mummy Rot). 

Edited by NebulousMissy
clarity, I has none of it
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3 hours ago, Cyradis said:

How plausible is this NPC that I have? Modified a little bit from official rules, but... I think fun.

 

~50 year old weaver. She's in the slums, but well regarded there. She's kind, and people like to visit her. She has no idea that she's a 10th level favored soul (spontaneous casting divine magic user). She's blessed by fate, despite her situation in the slums. Instead of getting wings later on, I'm giving her a spider as a familiar - she's a weaver, after all. They don't usually get familiars, but I think she needs one. Just a strangely long lived bug that she talks to, and who sometimes talks back. They're friends.

 

The catch is that she has no idea that she's healing people. She just thinks she gets messages from the gods due to prayer, and she's just a comforting person. Her spell selections are all divination spells that can determine if an action will be good or bad, or if someone is well or not, and healing or protection spells that veer away from cures but into being well rested, or curing diseases and afflictions - things that aren't gaping wounds. Scars mend when she touches a person.

 

Her favored soul energy resistance (fire and cold)? Pssh. That's just her being tough, and resilient against bad weather. Hard to make her too hot or too cold.

 

Goal is to give the party someone to meet who is kinda creepy but 100% benevolent and will help them as she thinks she can. Won't unload heals on them because she doesn't know how (at least not on purpose), but she'll give them lots of encouragement and some of their debuffs will mysteriously fade.

 

 

She’s the little old lady that all the gangs protect because she raised them all. And she’s the only one who can stop them in their tracks when carrying on with nonsense. 
 

seems believable to me!

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15 hours ago, Froggy the Great said:

I love that hammer.

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otCpCn0l4Wo&list=RDotCpCn0l4Wo&start_radio=1&t=7

 

 

11 hours ago, PaganMegan said:

There was a sale on saltwater taffy last month.

 

Grump got a BIG bag of it for Trick or Treaters.

 

Uhm... Something happened to it.

 

ALL of it. :down:

Screen-Shot-2017-10-19-at-5.36.57-PM.png

 

10 hours ago, redambrosia said:

I learned a long time ago that it’s best to get candy you don’t like for trick or treaters. I mean, get a bag you do like for yourself. But give the candy you hate to the goblins at the door.

 

image.png.b445f935eb3c5db97d9defbe104dac76.png

 

5 hours ago, Crowley said:

Rain is just about done here. Managed to drag the girls for a walk. The party tonight was a blast. Sadly, it's just Wednesday. Hope I can get some solid sleep tonight... 

 

 

SLEEP?

*** Kicks the Hamster***

Bones V is running, You have work to do!!!

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6 hours ago, Mad Jack said:

In other news, I work with a real live Kender... 

Seriously - her name is Monique, she's about five foot...one?, and she... literally... does... not... Stop... TALKING.   :devil:

She talks to herself all the time - most of the time you can't even tell if she's speaking to you or herself. She wears her inner monologue on the outside, and has no brain-to-mouth filter. She's like a cartoon chihuahua or something.

 

 

You get off lightly, I live with one (my son) - their names even start with the same letter!

 

He also does not stop talking and has no brain-to-mouth filter. Gets him into all sorts of trouble with his older sister, and makes it impossible to keep something secret if he knows about it (his older sister isn't much better, but she's at least quiet sometimes)...

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9 hours ago, Corsair said:

 

Okay, it sounds like @kay13  needs to have some buzzy coffee ice cream!

 

Ohhh that sounds tasty!

 

Lots of buzzies in the icecream.  Crispy Buzzies.

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9 hours ago, redambrosia said:

Yep. Yep. Left me on hold for 24 minutes then hung up on me. (Insert expletives here)

 

9 hours ago, TGP said:

Calling the IRS can be like that. 

 

Things like this are the reason that if it's at all possible, I'll take the time to go to the place in person. Much harder to ignore me when I'm in your office.:devil:

 

@Cyradis---cool NPC concept. I like it and think it's fine, there are some really good suggestions here to make her even better, though.

 

 

It's raining here.

Heavily.

No, heavier than that. The noise of it is loud enough to be heard, but quiet enough that it makes me want to go back to sleep.

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      Miscellaneous 10 9023 Imperial Purple
       
      And my intent is to do the 3 star challenge, I was planning this before rolling.  Interesting colors, I have the pure white but not the other two.
       
      The arrival of Deathsleet with his Halloweeny reinforcements, and the missing two paints.

       
      And here he is ready for the paint.

       
      I started with giving him a primer of brilliant green cut with 2-3 times as much pure white.
       

       
       
       
    • By InvisibleThumb
      Stuck my thumb in the box of unpainted bones and pulled out a Kyphryxis.
       

       
      must unbag bag and dry fit, trim mold lines and scrub, but first, the random colors...
       

       
      15, ah what could that mean?  I'll look later.  Let's roll another.
       

       
      seven!  Good.  Nicely spaced numbers.  Will look it up in a minute.  For the third roll...  Well darn gotta wait for the full minute so the time shown is different...  Finally!
       

       
      oof!  One!  Critical miss.  Well, it's probably a boring color at the top of the table.  Let's see what this means:
       
      15: mint green
      7: olive green
      1: fire red 
       
      huh.  Whadaya know.  Time to go see what I've got for colors... (To be continued)
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