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Randomness XVI: Brains versus Bleach - an Epic Rap Battle in Iambic Pentameter.

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59 minutes ago, Lord of the Dish Pit said:

Well, according to the divination system of UPS my box from Warlord should be here Tuesday. 

On the subject of flumphs, during the course of my investigations into whether or not the food network was a front for a survival of a roman Bacchunite mystery cult, I came across evidence that IHOP was using flumphs as main ingredients in their "secret menu" available only to a group of "known regulars" distinguishable by a small runic pancake tattoo on the inside pad of their little finger on the left hand. Apparently this was mainly an East Coast phenomenon, although there was supposedly a branch somewhere around Milwaukee as well. 

The "foodie" movement in general seems to show signs of a subtle guidance outside of the usual and expected "suppliers of various ingredients bribe the network into making their goods "trendy" to increase sales"... the rise of the Forbidden Art of Kitchen Science III seems to date back to around this era, and I have heard disturbing rumors from the local birds that somewhere in the county, a Foodie Cult has begun to gather the trendy ingredients in the order of introduction, perhaps for an upcoming ritual around the Solstice....perhaps this is what has been interfering with my rain summoning attempts, but perhaps my onion wearing, verbal abuse of clouds has also interfered with their goals as well. If I am aware of them, it stands to reason that they either already are, or soon will be aware of me, so time once again to shore up the defenses...

The birds have also spoken of rumors of a massive cheese hoard somewhere deep in the unhallowed lands of Wisconsin, so it seems the Dread Cheese Lords are consolidating their power towards some yet unknown malefic plot...

 

 

Wisconsin is a diversion.

The True Cheese Hoard is located somewhere in the Central Valley of California.

GEM

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1 hour ago, WhiteWulfe said:

But yeah, Tab S6 is definitely tempting, but I'd have to double check what it is I want to do because the Tab A 10.1 is a lot cheaper...

 

I know the feeling.  My 2012 Nexus 7 is showing its age.  I keep looking, and the prices keep making me sweat.  I can't even play Angry Birds Friends anymore!

 

Toon Blast still works for now, though, and most importantly the FFG Imperial Assault app is still good!  I can't lose that one.  Oh, and paintRack!  I'd be lost without that one!

 

Inventoried the remaining steps on Chopper and the Dewback Rider.  At least I accomplished the saddle bags and fur bit on the saddle on the Dewback and the turret ring on Chopper as well as a couple touch-ups over lunch today.  That's something.  The goal is to have Jabba's Realm complete by EOD, Monday.  Preferably Sunday.  Tabletop is all I'm working toward--this shouldn't take so long!

 

Chopper:

  • Yellow ring around the dome (mid, highlight).
  • Redo orange section below yellow ring (base, mid, highlight).

Dewback Rider

  • Saddle and reins (mid, highlight).
  • Bedroll (base, mid, highlight).
  • Backpack (highlight).
  • Dewback eyes.
  • Dewback scales (highlight).
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3 minutes ago, Green Eyed Monster said:

Wisconsin is a diversion.

The True Cheese Hoard is located somewhere in the Central Valley of California.

GEM

I heard about California trying to steal the water of the Great Lakes, but setting themselves up as a rival power to the Dread Might of the Cheese Lords (Merciless and Eternal), seems foolish in the extreme. Being the remnants of the surviving ringwraiths, the Cheese Lords continue Morder's policy of not sharing power, nor do they suffer rivals. (had Rohan and Gondor fallen, Saruman would've been in for a rather nasty surprise...)

Although if California is hoarding cheese, it must be because they've found a way to utilize the Power of Cheese in creating a grape based form of Uruk-Hai. What they probably won't realize until far too late, is that the Power of Cheese is not neutral, it is the essence of the ringwraiths themselves, so any Uruk-Hai created will not owe their true allegiance to California....

Perhaps this is a plot by the Cheese Lords themselves, a way to expand their Dread Might beyond the wards confining them to Wisconsin...if so this has dire ramifications indeed.

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The previous escape attempt of the Cheese Lords (Merciless and Eternal) involved the "Liquid Gold" advertising campaign. This was an attempt to have someone outside of Wisconsin attempt to forge a ring of Velveeta, which would then fall under the power of the Cheese Lords, who would force it's bearer to break the ward stones confining them to Wisconsin. 

Thankfully for all, those of us mad enough to realize the possibility of it, aren't quite mad enough to actually attempt it.

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As to grape based Uruk-Hai, it is a possibility that these start life as your average Riesling. Rieslings are small gremlinoid type creatures that are offshoots of the same vine from whence the grapes come, and are also fermentable. They resemble somewhat the Reiklings of Skyrim, especially in the aspect of brutal stupidity, it is the reason that making sure the gate is closed each evening is vitally important, lest they get in and terrorize the livestock. They have more of a purplish tinge than a bluish although this can vary by region and age of the Riesling.

If left unchecked they will breed in vast amounts, however the popularity of Riesling wine tends to keep their population down to a manageable number. Garden Gnomes have a paticularly fierce hatred for them that dates back centuries and have been known to attempt genocidal crusades against the Rieslings at the slightest excuse. To be fair, this level of brutality has been well earned by the Rieslings, who several hundred years ago in France, managed to almost clear the country entirely of Garden Gnomes, and were especially vicious in their treatment of any living Gnome they got a hold of. 

 

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The Kindle Fire tablet I bought in 2017 is dead. The battery auto-discharges: I'll charge it just fine then the battery drains out the back into the aether. This auto-discharge occurs whether the kindle is on or not. I believe it would still occur even if time had no meaning. I have no idea if I can get the thing to run long enough for a memory wipe to wipe it.

 

The Kindle Fire tablet I bought in 2011 is a thick honking heavy thing that runs fine, holds a charge until I'm done with whatever I'm doing no matter what that is, and has outlasted several cellphones. I lost it in a desk for a year and it did not care. I've exposed it to college microbio and anatomy+phys classes and it did not care. I've spilled chemicals on it and it did not care.

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1 hour ago, Green Eyed Monster said:

Wisconsin is a diversion.

The True Cheese Hoard is located somewhere in the Central Valley of California.

GEM

 

As a CA native, I have also heard this, though as of yet have been unable to confirm its accuracy, since I have been in deep cover for the past decade and a bit, wandering in the foreign lands of the west. 

 

I CAN confirm, however, that some entity or collection of dubious individuals have developed some form of bovine mind control (see: all of the "Happy California Cow" commercials).

 

I suspect that said shady organization may have its sights on both Idaho and Texas, given the unsettling amount of cattle in both. I fear that inroads may also be ongoing in my state, as evidenced by the occasional elusive whiff of cows when the wind is just wrong. 

 

Huzzah! 

--OneBoot :D 

Edited by OneBoot
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1 hour ago, OneBoot said:

 

As a CA native, I have also heard this, though as of yet have been unable to confirm its accuracy, since I have been in deep cover for the past decade and a bit, wandering in the foreign lands of the west. 

 

I CAN confirm, however, that some entity or collection of dubious individuals have developed some form of bovine mind control (see: all of the "Happy California Cow" commercials).

 

I suspect that said shady organization may have its sights on both Idaho and Texas, given the unsettling amount of cattle in both. I fear that inroads may also be ongoing in my state, as evidenced by the occasional elusive whiff of cows when the wind is just wrong. 

 

Huzzah! 

--OneBoot :D 

The "Happy California Cow" commercials don't actually have anything to do with cows. It's more along the lines in implanted mental instructions given to Californians who "flee" their state, and are a series of orders concerning softening up potential targets prior to the grape Uruk-Hai invasions. Both Idaho and Texas, containing a large number of California "exiles" seem to be priority first strike targets. Texas being targeted because of the cows. Apparently the Rieslings corrupted into Uruk-Hai remember their spite towards livestock, and are now large enough to batter down the gates to get at them. 

This lends a certain credence to the theory that all of this is a Cheese Lord proxy conflict, since the last of the Simarils was the centerpiece of the Violet Crown of Austin. (also the reason why I encountered several elven descendants in Austin, their scraps of Noldorian blood called them there.) The Violet Crown was last known to be in the possession of Leslie, but before his murder it is rumored he hid it somewhere in the city. 

My investigations* into the matter revealed that it lies at the top of the UT tower, guarded by the wraith of Charles Whitman. In order to actually lay physical hands on it though, first a series of rituals needs to be performed at each of the Moon Towers, in the order in which they were erected, the knowledge of the building order however has been lost, and at least one of the towers has been tainted. 

 

*One of my coworkers at the bakery was the direct descendant of the Lady Galadriel, and so had I actually managed to get a hold of it, I would've had to turn over the crown immediately as I know very well what happens if one denies the Noldor in this matter. I also ran into the reincarnation of Arwen, who having chosen a human life, got stuck in the human cycle of rebirth rather than the elven. Being Galadriel's grand daughter in a sense, her claim to the violet crown may well have been the more valid one, but luckily I was able to avoid being in the center of that can of worms. 

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21 minutes ago, Lord of the Dish Pit said:

The "Happy California Cow" commercials don't actually have anything to do with cows. It's more along the lines in implanted mental instructions given to Californians who "flee" their state, and are a series of orders concerning softening up potential targets prior to the grape Uruk-Hai invasions. 

 

:wow: Ah. Well, that would explain the unusual concentration of vineyards here. There's even a shiny new building near the university, completed last year, devoted entirely to "wine science." 

 

Hmm...now I get to worry about what potential instructions I was given. So far, they mostly seem to include unsuccessfully ignoring household chores and growing leafy things in the backyard, so I'm probably safe. There is a persistent patch of Oregon grape in the far corner of the backyard that has stubbornly resisted all attempts to eliminate it, however.... 

 

Huzzah! 

--OneBoot :D 

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On the Violet Crown of Austin.

From the scraps of knowledge I can gather, the Silmaril that was cast into the deeps was later found by the Atlantians, who wrought a crown of oricalcum to set it in. It might have played a part in the destruction of Atlantis, one fragment reports that either their priesthood attempted to experiment with it's powes, with disasterous results, another hints that it attracted an outside invading force that sought to seize it and triggered the volcanic collapse in it's efforts (Noldor?).

At any rate it wound up in the city of Athens for a time before being lost to historical record. O Henry apparently had something to do with it's finding and took it to Austin for reasons unknown. The "Servant Girl Annihilator" murders in the 1800s have some connection to it, but whether it was an attempt to seize the crown or a bearer driven to homicidal madness by misuse of it is unknown. So far as I can tell, other than it being set at the top of the UT tower by Leslie, it had no connection to Charles Whitman other than currently being guarded by what's left of him atop the tower. (I strong recommend that anyone who has not perform the Moon Tower Rituals NOT go into the tower, for his wraith is a fearsome guardian, and side effects of battle with him are unpleasant in the extreme.)

3 minutes ago, OneBoot said:

 

:wow: Ah. Well, that would explain the unusual concentration of vineyards here. There's even a shiny new building near the university, completed last year, devoted entirely to "wine science." 

 

Hmm...now I get to worry about what potential instructions I was given. So far, they mostly seem to include unsuccessfully ignoring household chores and growing leafy things in the backyard, so I'm probably safe. There is a persistent patch of Oregon grape in the far corner of the backyard that has stubbornly resisted all attempts to eliminate it, however.... 

 

Huzzah! 

--OneBoot :D 

If I remember correctly you are a Libra are you not? The natural lounginess of the average Libra should provide some protection against fulfilling the implanted instructions, your mind will placate the programming with "eh, maybe later" for a long enough time it should reduce the urgency of the given instructions. Even if this were not the case, the Libra tendency towards indecision about how exactly to start carrying out the programming would again provide a measure of protection. This is why Libras do not make for effective mind controlled agents. 

As to the vineyards and "wine science", so long as they are not of Riesling variety, and no one is combining them with the Power of Cheese, I would not worry overmuch, but it is worth keeping an eye upon.

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The beacons are lit! The beacons are lit! The Randomness Thread calls for rebirth!

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99266982_10158636220365763_7042203097791

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*stumbles into forum at some ungodly hour on a saturday * 

 

Morning fellow Reaper Forumites. I see that this thread is still alive and kicking. Traeger is firing up in prep for the brisket, hopefully to be nomm'd this evening. We'll see how it goes, I've never done a 16 pounder before. Have a coaching (painting) session this morning & my stepminion is moving to his own place today. So while he's moving stuff out, I'll be moving my 3-d prints back into their room. Planning on putting my airbrush setup in with them so I can paint the terrain pieces when they get off the printer. I haven't decided if I'm going to move all of my painting setup back downstairs yet.

 

The household Overlord:

 

20191110_202743.jpg.2ef95cbea34140b90ffecb83bef37100.jpg

 

Says:

 

CQUb5K3WEAABIhT.jpg.5283f465224f3a06c70239b10f3e4671.jpg

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