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PingosHusband

Presents of Death

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1 hour ago, PingosHusband said:

Our daughter said, "Stop getting dad things to kill us with."

 

I have got to find another place to use that line. Best out of context quote I've heard in weeks.

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It's my great joy to have found something suitable to this festive gift-giving season. What, after all, is better than the gift that keeps on giving?

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3 hours ago, Pingo said:

It's my great joy to have found something suitable to this festive gift-giving season. What, after all, is better than the gift that keeps on giving?

I thought that was fruitcake?

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11 hours ago, Corsair said:

I thought that was fruitcake?

Fruitcake is only usable as terrain. 

And you need a lot of it to build a castle.

With the only treasure being dried pieces of fruit.

Which would motivate my players to kill me.

I don't like those odds.

 

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I have a fruitcake. Can't remember for the life of me who made the thing, but it's a lovely attractive boxed fruitcake. I took it out of the box once; it's made of foam rubber, but looks exactly like a real fruitcake. We've been gifting that thing back and forth for more than a decade.

Might make decent terrain, now that I think about it.

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19 hours ago, Pingo said:

It's my great joy to have found something suitable to this festive gift-giving season. What, after all, is better than the gift that keeps on giving?

Best kind. ::): And it gives both giver and recipient a warm feeling, every time it hits the table.

 

4 hours ago, PingosHusband said:

Fruitcake is only usable as terrain. 

And you need a lot of it to build a castle.

With the only treasure being dried pieces of fruit.

Which would motivate my players to kill me.

I don't like those odds.

 

 

Real fruitcake is actually delicious. (I've made it - real fruitcake takes months.) That horrible dried out nastiness that shows up in stores from Christmas is not real fruitcake! Real fruitcake is soft and moist.

 

And boozy enough to be flammable.

 

So, use real fruitcake for terrain - you can trap your players' characters in a burning castle!

 

The Auld Grump

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Ah, HERE we go! They still MAKE it! And it's every bit as inedible and long lasting as ever!

 

familyheirloom-fruitcake.jpg

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19 hours ago, Dr.Bedlam said:

Ah, HERE we go! They still MAKE it! And it's every bit as inedible and long lasting as ever!

 

familyheirloom-fruitcake.jpg

 

That looks like a shoggoth that's been baked in a brick mold.

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On 1/3/2020 at 7:51 AM, PingosHusband said:

 

That looks like a shoggoth that's been baked in a brick mold.

 

With pecans!

Weird thing is? Only person in my family who ever gave fruitcake with the intention that you should actually EAT it was my Grandma Bedlam, who... wasn't quite all there.

And the thing in the picture still looks better than what she used to make. *sigh*

Edited by Dr.Bedlam
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