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Getting to know APRIL 2020ish


Werkrobotwerk
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2 hours ago, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 5

Make up a ridiculous magic item! What does it do? Where do you find it?

Fish of slapping.

 

Functions like a wand of cure light wounds. To activate it, you must slap the target, curing it 1d8 hps. Larger fish heal more. So it goes something like trout -> salmon -> sturgeon -> blue fin tuna -> great white shark. If you want mass cure wound spells, I recommend you look at squid or octopuses of slapping.

 

For a bigger healing bonus, do a little dance as you slap the patient.

 

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3 hours ago, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 5

Make up a ridiculous magic item! What does it do? Where do you find it?

A ring that all detection magic will showcase it to be some rather powerful attack magic... 

 

...When in reality all it does is summon a large of box of rather distracting cinnamon rolls and pretzels that are freshly baked, and did I mention rather distracting?  Sure, it has the power to distract dragons, but those who use it also must save versus it, but with -6, and none of their regular positive modifiers apply.  Oh, and instant fail if you're hungry too... 

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22 hours ago, Corsair said:

Pineapple on pizza

Sugar in cornbread

Ketchup on hotdogs [if you are over 10 years old]

All of these should be flogging offenses.

Oh boy, it's flogging time! *turns into a piñata full of pineapple pizzas*

 

4 hours ago, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 5

Make up a ridiculous magic item! What does it do? Where do you find it?

It is canon that Pezler the Polychromatic carries around the Rubber Chicken O' Death, which is as advertised; a stretchy rubber chicken full of incredibly powerful death magics, to smack not-nice people into the next county. To be used only in times of seriousness and/or hilarity.

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7 hours ago, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 5

Make up a ridiculous magic item!

What does it do? Where do you find it?

There was...

 

The Wand of Blunder

 

It did random things. But it had a silly-long list/chart with 200 items on it (d20 x d10).  Most of the effects were goofy and liable to be useless. 

 

As with all such things, its point of origin was claimed to be The Silly Dungeon. 

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8 hours ago, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 5

Make up a ridiculous magic item! What does it do? Where do you find it?

 

The Parchment of Lisa Frank.  This item at first appears to be a spell scroll; but activates when unrolled, covering all visible surfaces, items and clothing up to 30 feet away with images of bright rainbow-colored landscapes and cute dewy-eyed creatures, most often unicorns.

 

When activated, the parchment provides bardic inspiration to all intelligent good-aligned creatures in its area of effect, and the equivalent of a short rest for chaotic good creatures.  It also stuns intelligent evil-aligned creatures in its area of effect for 1D4 rounds (a DC12 CON saving throw ends; lawful evil creatures fail automatically).  Only creatures that can see the scroll’s effect in normal light will be affected.

 

The parchment will have 2D6 charges, and may be activated by any character class.  The effect is permanent and not an illusion, though it can be cleaned off individual items with a Prestidigitation cantrip, or by a thorough cleaning with a water bucket and scrub brush.

Edited by Grumpy Cave Bear
Typos
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10 hours ago, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 5

Make up a ridiculous magic item! What does it do? Where do you find it?

The ring of Swampheck, which when tapped thrice, summons forth a horde of swamp creatures, each with their own talent. For example, Terry Greenhop, a dragonfly, is a skilled jazz musician. He plays on Thursday and Friday nights, I hear. The swamp creatures return to the ring after a week or when they feel like it. 

 

You ask your local magically inclined frog very politely, and they will guide you to the ring's location. Maybe offering him a scone will help. 

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On 4/4/2020 at 7:12 AM, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 4

Have you done any baking recently? What did you make and how did it turn out?

If not, what is your favorite baked food?

 

The most recent thing I baked was a chicken pot pie, but that was like, a month ago. 
 

On 4/4/2020 at 10:24 AM, Cicciopiu said:

 

Well... I'm Italian... so... yeah... you know... Pizza! :winkthumbs: 
With everything but damn pineapple!

Seriously peps:

do

not

put

pineapple 

on 

Pizza.

Everytime pineapple is used to dress Pizza, million of italian grannies die! 
And it is all your fault.
all youuuuur faaaault :zombie:

Pft. Pizza isn’t Italian, it American.

 

12 hours ago, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 5

Make up a ridiculous magic item! What does it do? Where do you find it?

I actually made this in a game: a living clown doll, looks like one of those Pierrot clowns, and it pulls stuff out of its sleeves. For instance, it can pull a seltzer bottle out and spray off your face after having just pied you with a lemon meringue. 
 

I named him Diogenes, because naming a clown after the most grumpy philosopher amused me.

 

9 hours ago, WhiteWulfe said:

A ring that all detection magic will showcase it to be some rather powerful attack magic... 

 

...When in reality all it does is summon a large of box of rather distracting cinnamon rolls and pretzels that are freshly baked, and did I mention rather distracting?  Sure, it has the power to distract dragons, but those who use it also must save versus it, but with -6, and none of their regular positive modifiers apply.  Oh, and instant fail if you're hungry too... 

See, that box of cinnamon rolls would be useful though. If both you and the dragon are munching on rolls, dragon can’t kill you and maybe you’ll bond over a shared love of pastries.

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10 minutes ago, redambrosia said:
9 hours ago, WhiteWulfe said:

A ring that all detection magic will showcase it to be some rather powerful attack magic... 

 

...When in reality all it does is summon a large of box of rather distracting cinnamon rolls and pretzels that are freshly baked, and did I mention rather distracting?  Sure, it has the power to distract dragons, but those who use it also must save versus it, but with -6, and none of their regular positive modifiers apply.  Oh, and instant fail if you're hungry too... 

See, that box of cinnamon rolls would be useful though. If both you and the dragon are munching on rolls, dragon can’t kill you and maybe you’ll bond over a shared love of pastries.

 

It is hard to think of an item that is just pure silly. That Wand of Blunder had potential usefulness.  Some of the other suggestions have been simply been cursed items....

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On 4/4/2020 at 9:12 AM, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 4

Have you done any baking recently? What did you make and how did it turn out?

If not, what is your favorite baked food?

 

 

I haven't baked anything recently, but I try to bake a few pies every year.

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1 hour ago, TGP said:

It is hard to think of an item that is just pure silly. That Wand of Blunder had potential usefulness.  Some of the other suggestions have been simply been cursed items....

 

I’ll take that as a challenge.  Here’s another I was thinking of, not cursed:

 

The Fifth Ring of Fives

 

This magical ring, is a simple gold band with the numeral 5 inscribed on it five times.  When worn, it makes the number five repeatedly come up in all narrative-based situations for the wearer.  The address the wearer is directed to is 55 Fifth Street, and the time of their meeting is 5:00 pm.  The mission the wearer takes on is to protect a duchess who is the eldest of a set of quintuplets, and fifth in line for the crown.  The sword the wearer finds in a chest has a design of five inset gems.  The wizard they consult is the fifth member of the Council of Five, and lives on the fifth floor of a tower five miles outside town.  The barkeep who runs the Five-Headed Dragon Tavern will give them the fifth drink they order on the house.  Most items they purchase end up costing some multiple of five coins, or the merchant has only five in stock.  Fives everywhere.

 

The effects don’t normally extend into combat, unless the GM desires.  Encounters with 1 to 4 enemies might be rounded out to 5, by adding a few cheering onlookers.  Treasure found will have fives included in mostly descriptive terms, like a five-pointed crown, but there will always be five copper coins included.  Attempts to manipulate luck with the ring often meet with disaster; for instance, playing a game of cards might have the wearer winning only the first five hands of the night, or end up holding a hand of 5 fives.

 

The ring can only be worn and removed five times; on the sixth try, the ring will not fit.

 

The Rings of Five were created by an arch-mage whose favorite number was, you guessed it, five.  The First through Fourth Rings of Five have been lost to the ages.

 

 

 

 

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On 4/4/2020 at 6:12 AM, Werkrobotwerk said:

APRIL 4

Have you done any baking recently? What did you make and how did it turn out?

If not, what is your favorite baked food?

 

For the first time in my life, I baked a round persimmon bread. Did not have any bread pans, so a pie pan was improvised. It was quite enjoyable, although, the recipe stated 30 minutes, I took almost two hours....

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6 hours ago, Cyradis said:

Do you dip apples in cheese fondue? Cheese and grapes on crackers? If so, then quitcher whining about pineapple on pizza. Fruits and breads and cheese go together :winkthumbs:

 

I like a nice houmous dish with side dishes like grapes, apple, feta, pita, olives etc..

The apple/feta works well together when dipped in houmous.

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6 hours ago, Cyradis said:

Do you dip apples in cheese fondue? Cheese and grapes on crackers? If so, then quitcher whining about pineapple on pizza. Fruits and breads and cheese go together :winkthumbs:

 

I once had an eight topping Pizza that included Pineapples and Jalapeños.

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