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Crowley

Getting to Know You - October Edition

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1 hour ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

The best piece of advice I was given was to not be silent and tiptoe around the baby during nap time.  If you are too quiet, it will learn to wake at the slightest noise.  Whenever the baby went down for her big sleep, that's when we would vacuum or put the Matrix or Die Hard on the TV.  Our kids can now sleep through just about anything.

 

Plus, you can move their sleep schedule.  All of my kids had a period of time where they would sleep for 3-6 hours in a solid block.  Of course it was noon six-ish and they would be up every couple of hours overnight while mom and dad were trying to sleep.  So we instituted "baby torture" over several weeks where we would keep them up (by rocking, playing with them, cold washcloths to the feet) to push back the start time of their big sleep.  Eventually we got so they would mostly sleep through the night, with only one or two feedings/diaper changes.

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2 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

Babies like tiny blankets that are also a bunny hand puppet. 

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2 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

 

I don't have any kids, so I can't give parenting advice. However, I could offer some situational advice:

  1. If it's a boy, when you go to change his diaper, have a spare in hand to block any sudden stream of urine. Apparently my brothers and I would immediately start peeing when cold air hit the "weenis" during changing, and my dad immediately blocked it with a spare diaper so he wasn't peed on (by the time my parents had me, his reflexes must have slowed because they say I was the only one to get him... yay me?)
  2. Glass bottles instead of plastic bottles for feeding. BPA isn't in most plastics these days, but according to some of the reports I've read, some companies have substituted other compounds from the bisphenol family into plastics, and the jury is still out on if they are just as bad (none of the reports I read specifically mentioned baby bottles. Don't want to freak you out, just FYI).

Oh, and if you need to make space and your minis just HAVE to go, I'll be glad to "store" them for you (*cough* possession is 90% of ownership *cough*).

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2 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

 

Hard to stick to just one piece of advice but I'd say the most important is to learn what advice to use and what to discard. Unfortunately humans aren't like machines and what works with one may have no effect or the opposite effect on another. Listen, try out if it seems reasonable but don't be afraid to accept it might not be working. I remember when my borther and his wife had their first. Recently finished college and were a hard working ambitious couple. They bought a library's worth of how to raise your kids books and attacked the issue like cramming for a major exam before she was born. 6 months later they were cursing all the wasted time and money because none of the stuff in those very highly regarded books was helping at all. A little shame faced they went to the 2 grandmas and got better advice even if it wasn't the "best modern way".

 

The other would be stay calm. I consider myself one of the most easy going people I know. I have still nearly done the Homer Simpson strangle on a tiny baby when days of no sleep and work got to me. Tag team and support eachother. When it starts to get to be too much for one (and if it doesn't sometime you're amazingly better than us) get that person out of there for a bit. If you can stay calm and keep the ol brain sort of working through sleep deprivation you'll get through it.

 

1 hour ago, Dilvish the Deliverer said:

The best piece of advice I was given was to not be silent and tiptoe around the baby during nap time.  If you are too quiet, it will learn to wake at the slightest noise.  Whenever the baby went down for her big sleep, that's when we would vacuum or put the Matrix or Die Hard on the TV.  Our kids can now sleep through just about anything.

 

Plus, you can move their sleep schedule.  All of my kids had a period of time where they would sleep for 3-6 hours in a solid block.  Of course it was noon six-ish and they would be up every couple of hours overnight while mom and dad were trying to sleep.  So we instituted "baby torture" over several weeks where we would keep them up (by rocking, playing with them, cold washcloths to the feet) to push back the start time of their big sleep.  Eventually we got so they would mostly sleep through the night, with only one or two feedings/diaper changes.

 

This is great advice. My wife tried the absolute silence thing with our oldest and it doesn't work. Remembering that you are in control (although it often doesn't feel like it) is important too. You can manage schedules but it takes work. Try not to let the kid dictate your every move while still giving them the care they need.

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3 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

Newborns don't drink coffee. Even if it is your offspring.

 

More seriously, a list of people willing to take care of some of the housework while you guys catch up on sleep.

 

That means someone who will do some of the cooking, laundry, groceries, housekeeping. Not someone who will take care of the hamsterling while you do it in a state of exhaustion.

 

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3 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

I don't have kids (never will, don't want them, that and if we did somehow have a child I suspect scientists would have a few questions..), but the first thing that comes to mind is... Well, two things... 

 

- don't put coffee in their baby bottle.. Even if it does soothe them. 

- if they're curious about your wine making hobby around age 11 or so, don't offer them a full glass right off the filters - make it a shot or tumbler glass, preferably a plastic one. 

 

First one is something hubby's aunt did, and second one, yeah, dad did that to me because I wouldn't stop asking...  In his defense, a few weeks later he let me try some from one of the bottles that had aged. Tastes a loooot better at that point! 

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I'll go along with the helper list.  I don't have kids but have many nieces, nephews, grand nieces,  grand nephews, great grandnephews and great grand niece. I and others have been used to help the parents cope.

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3 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

I don't have kids myself, but there's something I learned from my dad: Be a better parent than yours. That way you get to make all sorts of different mistakes! :lol:

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4 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

 

You don’t need most of the equipment that people will try to sell you, especially in the small apartment.  Diaper bag with a changing mat, Snuggli (or competing brand) so Dad can carry the amazing scion about easily until a stroller gets easier, ... not much, really.  On the other hand, I believe you’ve met my #1 son, so it’s been a while and my memories have become more difficult to access...

 

Also, my observation is that Stage 1 is the no sleep phase 0 to ~3 months; sleep whenever the baby sleeps.  

 

Stage 2 was dubbed the “happy handbag” stage by friends; you can put them down and they stay; they are usually happy to be carried/held.  Use the time to complete the child-proofing, because it’s your breathing space before...

 

Stage 3, Constant vigilance, from the time they can move from where they where put until they sometimes respond to verbal requests, say 9 months to ~3 years.  Gates, playpens, leashes, high chairs with seat belts...anything you need to keep them from jumping out windows, down stairways, etc., putting sharp small poisonous objects in their mouths etc.

 

Stage 4, Increasing fun; from the time they sometimes obey until they are in elementary school, say 3 years to 9-10 years.  Their character forms here; they are ever more fun, as you can do more with them, and they start to be self-maintaining.

 

Stage 5; roll the dice. Once they hit what use to be the teeen years and are now more like the tweens, it seems like you make a parenting skill check.  If you succeed, the next few years can be fun, too.  I had two good teens, so I lucked out and won’t say much about this.

 

 

Edited by Rob Dean
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More difficult with 2 little ones, but don’t worry about traveling with a baby. My oldest had been to all the major game conventions within the first 18 months; Origins ( Baltimore that year) GenCon (Milwaukee), DragonCon and Gamex on top of the two local cons. He was great on planes and was really good at adjusting to strange environments and people. You learn to pack efficiently and how to keep the favorite items within in easy reach. Cheerios were our friend on long plane flights.

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5 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

As you have no experience with parenting yet, I would advise listening to everything Lucy and Alice tell you to do.

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6 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

 

Read books to the spawnling as much as you can.

 

Don't encourage being scared. I mean this in the sense of things like bugs - let them think bugs are cool, instead of being grossed out by their existence. If they fall and have a scrape, instead of "aww does it hurt?" ask "do you think you're okay to keep playing?" Try to not let your fears become theirs. I know my mom passed one to me (anxiety related to my voice), and it has caused some major problems. I don't know if I'd have that if she hadn't mentioned her own when I was young.... and that we sound so similar.

 

Keep the minis out of the crib. Choking hazards!

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7 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

remembered another important one:

If you give a baby a hammer, they will hammer all the things

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7 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

 

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On 10/1/2020 at 6:00 AM, Crowley said:

October 1st - The spooky season is upon us! What is your favorite horror/supernatural/Halloween themed entertainment? Can be anything... tv, movie, book, comedy special, burlesque show... Don't limit yourself!

 

In terms of movies, I like classics and I like comedies. So the original horror flicks and Tucker & Dale vs Evil or Cabin in the Woods.

 

7 hours ago, Crowley said:

Question for October the Second

As I am expecting to become a parent rather imminently, what's one piece of advice you'd give me?

If it’s angry check it’s butt, feed it, or give it a nap. If it’s still angry, duct tape it to the wall. 
 

Actually, in all seriousness, get rid of your expectations. Every child is different, every parent’s reaction to their children is different. There are a few health guidelines, but beyond that, THERES NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL. 
 

And quash your expectations for yourself as well. My husband expected to love our monster as soon as he saw her, but it took him 6 months (of agony) to bond with her. Just do the best you can, be patient with yourself, be patient with your spouse, and be patient with your baby. Especially the baby. Remember, your baby is just trying to get used to being alive. 
 

But seriously, feed it if it’s angry.

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