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Getting to Know You, March 2021


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9 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

 

Disclaimer: I don't much hold with messing with wild animals so I've never actually seen Mr.Irwin. So this is just how I imagine that would look without a frame of reference...

 

"This is really exciting folks (struggles visibly with what appears to be an angry ape of some sort)! I have here for the first time ever on camera the North American Bigfoot (indistinguishable roar from whatever he's wrestling with), Strewth, he's a feisty one! Your typical Bigfoot loves hiding in these wooded swamps where he doesn't run into any people (whatever he's holding tries to drag him along into the deeper water). He's trying to get me underwater and drown me folks, I'm a trained animal botherer viewers, and you should never try this at home (muffled noises comes from whatever it is he's holding onto)! Crikey, did you hear that? It sounds almost like he's trying to say something."

 

"I am trying to say something you idiot."

 

In a high pitched excited Australian accent "Did you hear that?! Did you? Not only have we proven the existence of Big Foot, but also that he speaks!"

 

"I'm not a big foot, I'm just a hairy guy hanging out in a swamp!"

 

"What?" Steve stands back and looks me up and down. "Oh, sorry mate. Got a little excited there."

 

"Dude, I'm wearing chest waders and carrying a clipboard, how do you make that kind of mistake?"

 

"Well, the beard, and the swamp, and I've never really looked for North American animals and well... I just let it get out of hand." 

 

"Whatever dude, just go."

 

"Sorry, sorry, won't happen again... Ooh look, some snakes trying to hide from me! Get the camera going while I grab a handful of them!"

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10 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

This here is a introvert, they don’t like to come out of their dens, and can become quite snarly when forced to go shopping. This one’s den seems to be filled with toys and unfinished art projects! Oops! It’s a bitey introvert!

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11 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

"I'll tell you, it's a rare day! What we have here is the rare North American Hobby Hamster! This is a feisty one, and... *sniff* I think this one subsists on coffee beans! An unusual diet, but he seems healthy. And no wonder he's so energetic! And look at his angry little eyes. Gonna have to watch myself around those teeth. Look here, see these cheeks? That can pack in way more than you'd expect. Truly hoarders of whatever they decide to collect. Let's poke it and see if we can figure out what's in there. Toy soldiers, dragons, some dice, how did it even get a paint brush in there? Astonishing!! Oh, the chittering, he's really angry now! Oh, Crikey! There's a little one in the den! OUCH! Okay, he got me. Oh, that's a lot of blood, but that's okay, he's justified. We're gonna put him down and back away quickly. Thankfully they're not great runners so we should be okay."

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Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat?

 

'Ere we have a domesticated North American Evilhalfling - I'm glad  I caught it while it was sedentary because once it gets going it sure can run. 

its not struggling, it seems resigned to being in a headlock.  Lets take a look, yes its not caring for its hair or teeth,  you can tell its male by the unkempt facial hair.   a lot of its energy is probably going into caring for its offspring, and collecting and adding color to tiny pieces of plastic and metal... 

 

"I'm letting him go, he seems to have stabbed me in the side with a small knife, we might have to cut away to commercial" 

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11 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat?

“This thing looks a bit like an Eagle, except... Are those lion claws??  But there’s definitely feathers, and a striking black / grey / silver pattern they have to them...”

 

”Oh Dear, the wings work...”

 

*** thrash ***
 

*** CHOMP !! ***

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20 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

Well, here we have a D.O.G. that means dusty old grouch, seems there are several firearms signs near his reloading bench....um, wait, he seems to have stuck a knife in my kidneys...

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21 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

"Oi look 'ere! It's the very rare North American chaos wolf! This one is an older specimen, you can tell by the grey streaks in 'is hair and beard. We've startled him in his lair, and you can see the collection of trinket's e's collected over his lifetime. An interesting thing, this one seems to have a liking for rum...Crikey, mate! Didja see that? This one's got some dirty tricks up 'is sleeve, 'e does. That growling means I've upset him, so we're going to let this old fella go back to what 'e was doing. Lookit 'is teeth, that snarling is 'is way of warning us to leave 'im alone. We're gonna back away from 'im now."

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21 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

Crikey, will you look at this specimen.

 

Despite it's name, the Cranky Dog is not part of the canine family, and looking at his docile nature from being in a headlock, definitely not cranky.

 

Lookin' at his thinning hair and hanging skin is a clear sign that he's not a juvenile, but a mature specimen. Though his personality indicates he's quite at ease with the younglings, he would tire quickly and would be content in simply watching.

 

Now take a good look at his nesting area, it's full of "bones". There's not a lot a room to move around here as he likes to scavenge for things and keep them forever. But he's got himself quite a collection of bones lying around, some he managed to color himself, but most are bare. This fella is quite an unusually solitary animal. He'd need to travel much further south to find others like him and we might need to relocate him.

 

Cranky Dogs don't have good senses of smell or taste. He needs strong flavors to enjoy anything, many other animals don't share his tastes so he cannot, or doesn't need to, share often.

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18 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

"Crikey! What we have here is a multicoloured wild mage, that he is! This one's bright plumage is unique among his kind; he can be found on any of the planes of existence, so it's a treat that we found him right here!"

 

"Now, it's a good thing he's friendly; he may not look like much, but he's actually powerful enough to devastate an entire continent when properly riled up!" *Pezler begins to slump* "As you can see here, he doesn't feel threatened by me, otherwise he'd be thrashing or flinging spells all over the place. Just one would be enough to fry me to a crisp or turn me into goo! Instead he's hoping his dead weight is enough to make me release him so he can be on his way. Now the interesting......." *looks down at the body, then over to the camera crew* "......Bugger, I didn't kill him, did I?"

 

*The body begins to turn to snow and starts melting, leaving empty robes. Irwin looks over at a Pezler running off in the distance, then turns back excitedly to the camera* "Crikey! Classic behaviour, that right there! Instead of coming out of his hiding nook, he instead sent out a simulacrum to act as decoy and he slipped away safely while we were focused on it. Just like a gecko leaving its tail behind! He's a crafty one, he is!"

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On 3/21/2021 at 10:10 PM, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

"Well, now I seem to be in a bit of a pickle. Boys and girls its a really bad idea to put a sleeping dragon in a headlock. For one you look awfully silly, and well its rather dangerous. Now that is a really big eye that just opened... I think I'll just let go and back away before she decides that I'm breakfast.!"

37 minutes ago, Morihalda said:

Tuesday, March 23: Clearly, many of you don't take kindly to someone stumbling into your habitat! How do you recharge after a long week (or after that Mr. Irwin encounter)?

This dragon is a hoarder of books,  small painted figures and a selection of well loved japanese weapons.  There is also a good selection of well used heavy objects that are apparently just meant to be picked up and put back down. You'll also notice claw marks on the ceiling for when she decides she'd rather be up there.

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On 3/21/2021 at 9:10 PM, Morihalda said:

Monday, March 22: Steve Irwin has you pinned down in a headlock, what cool facts does he tell the audience about you and your habitat? (reddit user zombiepiemaster)

Well, seeing as about five of you stabbed him and the rest of you bit him, I think Steve-o's out of commission. Good thing I found David Attenbourough.

 

As spring approaches, the Khan Artists begin to emerge from their winter hibernation. Khan Artists are voracious feeders, and require a vast territory to sustain them. Like the lioness of the African savannah, Khan Artists are matriarchal. Most members of the species are born and live out their lives within a few square miles, occasionally venturing into unfamiliar territory out of a quest for whitewater, which they feel inexorably drawn to. A rogue male has just wandered into this female's home range. The female approaches, keenly aware of the intruder. She issues a challenge to the male, who decides it's not worth his effort and retreats into the nearby urban area. Satisfied, the female returns to foraging. This female has found a domesticated tuber of the genus "potato". She carefully uncovers the top layer of soil, checking the potato for ripeness. She then rips out the plant by its stalk and discards it, clearly more interested in the starchy roots below. Using her hands, she carefully extracts the roots and carries them back to her den to be enjoyed later. 

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1 hour ago, Morihalda said:

Tuesday, March 23: Clearly, many of you don't take kindly to someone stumbling into your habitat! How do you recharge after a long week (or after that Mr. Irwin encounter)?

 

*makes irritable noises from cozy den*

Obviously, I find a good book, or maybe a game, and disappear into it until I run out of tea, or get hungry.

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1 hour ago, Morihalda said:

Tuesday, March 23: Clearly, many of you don't take kindly to someone stumbling into your habitat! How do you recharge after a long week (or after that Mr. Irwin encounter)?

Considering I'm into into my second week of stress leave I think I need a new method

As to recovering from a Steve Irwin encounter I believe a backhoe and plausibile deniability is the go

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2 hours ago, Morihalda said:

Tuesday, March 23: Clearly, many of you don't take kindly to someone stumbling into your habitat! How do you recharge after a long week (or after that Mr. Irwin encounter)?

Been stuck at home for the most part, and I'm semi-quarantining for the next week. Just to get some fresh air, I'll probably go out and shoo @Great Khan Artist out of peoples' potato patches.

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